proposed guideline for casual sex arrangements


i humbly propose the minimum standard of decency for even the chillest booty call be thus:

no behavior that would get a person fired from a summer job at the mall

  • no call no show
  • showing up visibly intoxicated 
  • excessive private personal phone use
  • rude, uncouth, or inappropriate conduct
  • lying (“if you call out with a sick grandma, don’t let me catch you at the beach”)
  • failure to comply with posted safety procedures (h/t)
and this proposed guideline shall be called: 
the cinnabon criteria
and those in violation, dismissed.